Bob Hope : " I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters".

Burt Shotten : "Any game where a man of 60 can beat a man of 30 ain’t no game”.

Dan Jenkins : "Seve [Ballesteros] - the greatest thing to come out of Spain since a painting by Picasso that made sense."

Dean Martin : "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."

Jack Lemmon : "If you think it's hard meeting new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball."

Nick Faldo : "After a calm day at St Andrews - We've had it easy. When it blows here, even the seagulls walk."

We liked this one too....

Sign at an Irish golf club : Trousers are now allowed to be worn by ladies on the course. But they must be removed before entering the clubhouse.

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